The Easy Way Out
by Rointheta
Summary: The Doctor, Jack, and Rose find themselves in a place plagued by drought and famine. The locals think Rose is a fertility goddess and want her to have sex to bless the crops, but the Doctor is determined not to let anyone take advantage of her.


**Note**: There's _no shagging_ in this fic. While I've written Shag or Die before, I'm no longer comfortable with this trope. I hope you'll find it enjoyable anyway!

_This is the eighth fic in my 2013 Advent Calendar!_  
**prompt**: "Do you still need prompts? Because I love a good shag or die story. So cliché, but they're just so much fun!"  
**prompter**: mightymcroi  
**beta**: resile

* * *

**THE EASY WAY OUT**

* * *

Jack shivered in Rose's arms. She patted his damp forehead with a piece of cloth and stroked his cheek with her other hand, his sallow skin cool under her fingertips. The Doctor stood by the sink and washed off the blood, dried his hands on the towel hanging from a hook on the wall and turned around, folding his arms over his chest, jaw set and eyes hard.

She swallowed, grip tightening around the cloth. "Is Jack gonna be okay?"

"He's in pain, but he'll be fine."

"I think he needs stitches. Doesn't he need stitches? We have to get back to the TARDIS. Give him proper care. And painkillers, and-and a bed."

"Working on it," the Doctor said, tapping his furrowed forehead.

"What happened out there? They were so friendly, and then…" Worrying her lip, she regarded him for a moment before returning her attention to Jack. "He said… Right before he dozed off, yeah, he said something about them wanting me to do something. What was it?"

"You heard him wrong, Rose. You're not expected to do anything."

"I'm not stupid, Doctor. They had no reason to attack you, unless you insulted their high priest or something. Did you insult the high priest?"

"Yep. That's right. Good at insulting species, me."

"You're lying. Whatever it is they need, I'll do it, all right? If it can save us. I'll do it."

The Doctor sighed and crouched down next to her. "No, you don't need to do anything. We can stall. Try to find a way out, or wait until Jack gets better and make a run for it."

"What if he doesn't get better? And what if we can't stall? They're mental. I don't understand. I thought…" She stared down at the white, gold trimmed garb draped around her body, at the numerous, thick gold bracelets on her wrists. "I'm a goddess. Shouldn't they treat my friends well?"

"We're nobody to them, Jack and me. Just two strangers. We're disposable and, according to their logic, we should be disposable to you." He got up and walked over to the door, giving it a kick. "Just dumb luck they threw us in here with you. Suppose it's the only room with a barred door."

"Yeah, all right. Let's say you're disposable, then why keep me prisoner? They worship me! Nothing makes any sense!"

"Famine makes people desperate, Rose. You saw how it was out there."

She shook her head, ringlets falling down from her serpentine updo, and she tucked them behind her ears. "And all this just 'cause of eye colour? What the hell kind of reason is that, anyway?" she muttered, running her fingers through Jack's hair to keep him calm.

Everybody on this planet, on Averi, had blue eyes. Then the TARDIS showed up and out stepped Rose, eyes as brown as the earth beneath their feet, and the Averians had thought she'd descended from the heavens the help them with their drought and bad crops. They showered her in admiration and brought her to change into something more fitting for someone of her stature, servant girls flocking around her and helping her with her hair and makeup, pouring her wine into a silver cup. As they laid the finishing touches to Rose's hair, guards had dragged in a bleeding Jack and a struggling Doctor, and hurled them to the floor. The servant girls rushed out and, before Rose had realised what happened, they guards had locked her and her friends inside.

"We can try and escape, you and me," the Doctor said. "We can bring the TARDIS back here seconds after we leave."

"And how are we supposed to do that? The door's barred, there are no windows. And I suppose I can't just order them to release me, can I?"

"No."

"'Cause they won't let me, or you, go until I've done whatever it is they want me to do, right?" she asked, but he only ducked his head. "Please. I don't want Jack to die. I can prevent this. Please, Doctor. Tell me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not doing it!"

"That's not for you to decide."

"You're not."

She huffed in frustration, bunched up Jack's jacket and placed it on the floor, moving his head from her lap and onto the makeshift pillow so she could stand up. Positioning herself in front of the Doctor, she put her hands on her hips and bored her eyes into him.

"Tell me what's going on, and you bloody well better do it now!"

"No, I bloody well won't!"

Jack coughed, eyes fluttering open. Rose rushed to him, kneeling by his side and cradling his hand in hers.

"How you feeling? Are you all right?"

"Just tell her. It's-it's her choice, Doc."

"No. And you shut your mouth, Captain."

"S-sex."

Rose's eyes darted between the two men. "What?! What d'you mean 'sex'?"

"They want you to-to have sex. To bless the-the… Fertility goddess."

She snorted. "That's not gonna happen."

"No, it won't." The Doctor clenched his jaw and slipped the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket. "I'm getting us out of here."

"Who do they want me to shag, anyway?"

"Doesn't matter." Jack groaned and smacked his lips.

"Thirsty?" she asked, and he nodded. She poured out the wine in her cup and filled it with water, hurrying back to him and helping him drink in small sips. "You should rest, Jack."

"Yeah, well, that bastard's not gonna tell you shit. If-if you ask me, you deserve to know what the hell's going on."

"Yeah. Yeah, I do," she said, turning to the Doctor to give him a firm look, but he'd stood with his back to them sonicking the wall. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "So, if I shag someone, they'll let us all go?"

"Yeah," Jack said. "Apparently they can tell that it's been a while since you climaxed."

Blood rushed to her face. "What?!"

"I didn't… Think there's some sort of sense of-of smell combined with brain waves or—" He scrunched up his face, wheezing before continuing. "Didn't really understand, other than that you need to come." He grinned. "That part was pretty clear."

"Can't I just…take care of it myself, then? I can do that. Unless they're gonna watch. Oh, my god. They're not gonna watch, right? What kind of perverts are they, anyway?"

"You're a go-goddess. They won't allow you to pleasure yourself. They won't watch, but they can tell. By your…whatever the hell it was. You need—" He shook his head and closed his eyes, face contorted in pain.

"S'okay. Shhh. Rest, Jack," she said, petting him as he slipped out of consciousness. She squeezed her eyes shut to fight back the tears welling up, caressing his cheek before getting up on her feet. She grabbed the Doctor's arm to turn him around. "He's not gonna be okay, is he?"

The Doctor slid out of her grip and resumed scanning the wall.

"Resonating concrete again?" she asked, but he didn't answer. "You know what? I'll do it. Must've been hundreds of blokes out there. Some of them have to be fit, yeah? Will be just like going to the pub and pulling someone."

"No! I'm not letting you do that."

"So you'd just watch Jack die, then? Let all of us die?"

"They're not gonna kill you, Rose."

"No? So what will they do, then? Kill you and then I'll have to shag one of them, anyway. Isn't that right? That's what's gonna happen, innit? 'Cause they're starving and desperate and think it's all 'cause I've not been shagged in ages." She huffed. "Bloody time ship."

"Oi! Don't insult my— Hold on. What's that got to do with anything?"

"It's sentient! I've not…" She ducked her head, face flushed. "Not once since… How am I supposed to, in there, when it's in my head?"

His mouth fell open, face smoothing out as he got her meaning, but then his scowl returned. "I didn't invite you on board to let some bloody barbaric idiots take advantage of you! I won't let it happen."

"Gonna do it yourself, then? 'Cause I need to shag someone. I'd ask Jack. I'm sure he'd love to, but he's unconscious and bleeding to death whilst we're standing here wasting time!"

The Doctor pressed his lips together, staring at his feet.

"No? Then I see no other option," she said, heading over to the door to call on the guards.

"No!" He grabbed her hand and tugged her back to him. "We're getting out of here even if I have to fight every single one of them. Even if I have to—"

"That won't work, though, will it. Look at Jack. Look at what they did to him. He's dying, Doctor! You'll never make it. They'll kill you as well." She took a deep breath, wiping her teary eyes as she exhaled. "I just don't get why they need both of you in here. Why can't we just send you on an errand or something? Just make up a reason. I'm still here. Isn't it me they want? You're disposable. They don't care about you."

"Eeer…" The Doctor rubbed his head, face splitting into a grin. "Ah."

She blinked at him. "What. You didn't think of that? Oh, my god. Are you telling me you didn't even try to come up with a solution? You just startedfighting?!"

"No, we tried to reason with them at first, but—"

"Blimey, you're daft." She rolled her eyes and knocked on the door. "Guards?!"

The hatch in the door opened, a pair of baby-blue eyes surrounded by sunburned orange skin appearing. "Yes, my Goddess."

"I can't copulate with mortal men," she said, adopting the poshest voice in her arsenal. "Unless they…eat holy food."

"Ambrosia," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, right. Ambrosia. I need to feed the man of my choice Ambrosia. Luckily, I have some in my, uhm, sky vessel which I used to descend from the heavens. Uhm, I'm gonna send that one," she said, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder at the Doctor. "He knows where it's at. Me and my other…slave will stay here."

The guard regarded them for a second. "I don't know… Can he be trusted to bring back the Am-ambrosia?"

"Yeah. He just looks shifty. You can trust him, though."

"Yep! Loyal as a dog, me," the Doctor said, beaming.

"Bark for the man, dearie."

"Woof!"

She gave the guard a sweet smile. "See?"

"Hm… So he'll fetch the Ambrosia, and you'll choose someone, and thenyou'll copulate?"

"Oh, of course! It's been a while since I had some proper manmeat between my loins. I'm quite looking forward to it."

The Doctor burst out laughing, covering up with loud coughs.

The guard knitted his brow. "Are you sick?"

"Nope. Allergies. Bit dusty in here." He cleared his throat. "I better get on that errand, then, Goddess Rose. Don't want to keep your loins waiting."

"Good boy." She rose on tiptoes and patted his head. "Do hurry up."

"I will come with you," the guard said. "I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight."

"Fine by me." The Doctor nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

.

* * *

Rose settled down beside Jack to comfort him and hold his hand whilst they waited for the TARDIS to appear. He shuddered and mumbled in his sleep, skin chilled but covered in beads of sweat, so she sang to him. She didn't know any lullabies and chose pop songs instead, going through most of the hits she'd liked before she left Earth to travel with the Doctor. Nine songs later, the groans of the time ship filled the room and Rose smiled, breathing out in relief as she saw the blue box blink into existence.

The door opened and the Doctor stuck out his head. "Hello, I'm the Doctor. I heard something about a goddess looking for manmeat."

Rose grinned. "Yeah, that would be me. Where's the guard, then?"

The Doctor chuckled, walking out to them. "Got so shocked seeing the console room he fainted, so I dropped him off outside the temple. Should be fine. Anyway, we better get Jack inside so we can leave."

He looped his arms around Jack's shoulders and Rose grabbed his legs, and together they carried him to the infirmary. She assisted the Doctor as he stitched up Jack's wound and, once they'd tucked him into one of the hospital beds in there, they walked back to the console room to bring the TARDIS into the vortex; however, before the Doctor had begun the dematerialising sequence, Rose stilled him by placing her hand on his arm.

"Before we leave, shouldn't we help?"

"They almost killed Jack and wanted to force you into…" He ground his teeth, nostrils flaring. "And you wanna help them?"

"They're not evil, Doctor. They're hungry and desperate. Can't we do something? Dunno, give them grain or food or… You can do anything! Most clever man alive. Can't you do something about the drought? Make it rain and all."

"I…" He smiled and cupped her cheek, thumb brushing over the apple. "You're too good, Rose. They don't deserve your kindness."

"No, I'm not. And yeah they do. Please, Doctor. Can't we help?"

His face split into a wide grin. "'Course we can! Can do anything, us! C'mon, Rose Tyler. Help me pilot the TARDIS."

"Really?"

"Yep! Press that button right there," he said, pointing. "And when I tell you, you twist the green knob to the left of it."

"Okay!" She beamed and positioned herself in front of the console, slamming down a big, yellow button. "What are we doing, then?"

"We're materialising in the sky to manipulate the weather. Rounding up some clouds, creating new ones, squeezing rain from them. Knob."

She twisted it, tongue touching the corner of her mouth. "Will it help?"

"Won't solve all their problems but, yeah, it'll help. We can make it last for a couple of weeks, or so. Pull that lever there."

"This?" she asked, hand hovering over a stick with a blue rubber handle.

"Don't touch that." He gave her a firm look. "The one next to it. Red handle."

"You got it!"

They worked together for a long moment; he stood still and steered the time ship, whilst she ran around and co-piloted by pushing the buttons he couldn't reach. With a last pull of a lever, the Doctor released the controls and ran down the ramp to open the door. She rushed over to him, holding his hand as she took a peek outside. They hovered mid-air over the village, rain pouring down from the heaven and wetting the cracked earth. The people danced around in joy, pressing kisses to their hands and flinging them up in the air, shouting their praise to the goddess.

Rose grinned and nudged the Doctor with her shoulder. "See? We did good."

He just smiled at her, face lined but relaxed, and tugged her back to the console, gesturing to her to sit down on the jump seat. She nibbled on her thumbnail as she watched him pilot the ship into the vortex, his fingers stroking and twisting knobs and buttons, wrapping around levers and that thing that looked like a bicycle pump, pulling and pushing. The time ship dematerialised with its usual wheezing noise and a soft shudder, and he turned around to face her, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the console.

"Doctor? Why d'you never see what's right in front of you?" she asked, dangling her legs and smiling.

"I…"

"I mean. It's like you never see the obvious answer. The easy way out."

"Oh." He shot off a toothy grin. "That's why I have you, see. Don't need to when I have a fantastic companion by my side."

"Yeah, you'd be lost without me, you would."

He grinned and pushed himself off the console, holding his hand out to help her up on her feet. "You should go to bed, Rose. Been a long day. And…you don't have to…" He sighed. "The TARDIS won't invade your privacy, Rose. If you need to… Perfectly natural for humans."

Her face heated up, ears burning. "Uhm, 'kay… Anyway, I should…" She gestured at the corridor and turned to leave, but stopped after only a few steps and walked back to him. "Can I just say… Uhm, thank you, Doctor."

He furrowed his brow. "For what?"

"For… Look. Next time, tell me what's going on, all right? Jack's right. I deserve to know. But thank you for being willing to fight. Thank you for not just…dunno." She smiled and took his hand in both of hers. "Let's just say that I know a whole lot of people who wouldn't think twice about sacrificing someone else like that. Wouldn't think anything of it. Would just say that a shag isn't a big deal and then they'd hand me over. But you'd be willing to…" She trailed off with a shrug.

"I'd never sacrifice you, Rose. Not for anything."

"I know. So thank you. And…" She averted her eyes, staring at their joined hands, at her thumbs drawing circles over his skin. She had so many things to say—how she would do anything to protect him, and how, if he only wanted her too, she would've chosen him, would always choose him—but her heart pounded so hard she could feel it all they way up in her throat. She shook her head and hid her discomfort with a smile. "Uhm, thanks. Again."

She used the little courage she had and pushed herself up on her toes, pressing her lips to his in a kiss too heartfelt to feel as chaste as she'd intended. He kept his mouth still, his body stiff, but his fingers tightened around hers. Fighting against her instinct to see his reaction, she averted her eyes as she pulled back.

"Night, Doctor."

She squeezed his hand and hurried out of the console room, heart racing, cheeks warm, and lips tingling. She kept herself from touching them until she'd reached the safety of her bedroom, where she fell back against her door with a gasp and a silly grin on her face.

Too tired to wash off her makeup or brush her teeth, she crawled under the covers and settled on her back. Her thoughts wandered back to earlier that day, her fingers finding their way into her knickers as she imagined how the Doctor would've let her choose him, how they would've been led into a room with a big canopy bed full of pillows and linen of silk. She touched herself to conjured up images of him between her thighs, pumping, pinching, and rubbing until she whimpered out her well-needed release, and fell asleep relaxed and sated.

* * *

**the end**


End file.
